Cringeworthy Book-to-Movie Adaptations That Must (In My Humble Opinion) Be Wiped Off Of The Face Of The Earth

Let me get this out of the way: I love it when my favorite books are made into movies. 

I know, I know… but then why would I make a post about “worst” book to movie adaptions? Why not all the really good ones? Because I’m a very salty person

I’m sorry, guys, but I need to get this out. I just watched Percy Jackson & The Olympians last weekend and… *shudders*

Image result for weird look gif
The Office gifs work for everything, I swear

Staring at the new movie covers, it’s hard not to be at least a little bit nervous. I understand the trepidation all readers feel, wondering whether or not the movie will completely butcher one of their favorite characters, or cut out one important scene from the book.

At the same time, though, I understand that the directors often take massive creative liberties, and I’m perfectly fine with that. (Usually.)

Sometimes, straying away from the plot makes a better movie!

Image result for i'm so open-minded gif

And some of the movies turn out absolutely fabulous! Think The Hunger Games (arguably), Coraline, and of course, Harry Potter. Movies that might not necessarily always stick to the book, but still leave you with a general sense of peace and satisfaction.

But then there are the movie adaptions that COMPLETELY RUIN THE BOOK FOR YOU. Movies that need to be wiped off of the face of the Earth- no, the entire UNIVERSE. Movies that make you stare up at the face of the sky in despair and cry out, “WHY DOES ANNABETH HAVE BROWN HAIR??!!!”

Just kidding, hair color isn’t that important… but seriously, why.

(It’s like making Ron Weasley have black hair. Or turning Harry Potter’s lightning scar into one shaped like a flowerpot. YOU JUST DON’T DO IT.)

Short obligatory disclaimer: Of course, like everything else, this is all a matter of personal taste. It would be impossible for everyone to have the same opinions- that would be wayyyyy easier, of course, but also no fun at all.

So, in conclusion, if you absolutely loved these movies, that’s amazing. I envy you. I really do.

I wish I wasn’t so bitter that I would feel compelled to write an entire judgmental post about all of the movies I hate.

Now, I shall prepare to spread the negativity. ❤


1. Percy Jackson & The Olympians

Image result for percy jackson movie

I take this as a personal offense. How DARE they destroy one of my favorite childhood books. The nerve of them. The sheer audacity.

To be honest, I probably would have enjoyed this movie more if I hadn’t read the books first. So much of its magic got cut out, which made me really question whether or not the people in charge of the film actually read the book.

They could have made this franchise into the next Harry Potter, but alas, they tried to condense it all into two ridiculous, what-in-the-actual-world-badly-paced movies.

Apparently even Rick Riordan roasted his own movie. I don’t blame him.

Image result for rick riordan moldy sandwich
sad but true, this movie is the equivalent of a moldy sandwich

Pros

  • Alexandra Daddario
  • Alexandra Daddario
  • I LOVE Alexandra Daddario
  • Nothing else, really

Cons

  • I’m not really sure what age group this was marketed towards because the main characters are all in their 20s (despite them supposedly being middle schoolers/high schoolers)
  • You know, it would be cool to actually stick to the storyline at least a little bit instead of making the movie revolve around some weird “pearls” the trio have to find
  • @ the director: Did we even read the same books….?? I’m genuinely confused
  • Seriously, this had so much potential
  • But they DESTROYED IT ALL

2. Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Image result for mortal instruments movie

Please don’t come at me on this, but I absolutely HATED the movie. Never have I ever been so, so crushingly disappointed.

I haven’t watched the Shadowhunters show yet, and I don’t plan to, but I can already assure you already that it will probably be 1000x better than this movie. It’s difficult to beat on terms of terrible-ness.

I WANT MY MONEY BACK. I could have bought three bobas with all those dolla bills I wasted on a movie ticket.

Pros

  • I really liked the cast! I’m pretty sure I can slice apples with Jamie Campbell Bower’s cheekbones. Also, I have a massive girl crush on Lily Collins *heart eyes*
  • Seriously, though, I feel like I watched this movie partly just to see Lily Collins
  • I would have fun watching her watch paint dry
  • In all honesty, that would probably have been more enjoyable than watching this travesty that you call a movie

Cons

  • Awkward writing, rushed ending
  • The “visuals” felt like a rip-off of every single cheesy horror movie monster combined into one massive special effect animation
  • I didn’t realize how laughable the love triangle was until I saw it in the movie
  • MAJOR CRINGE
  • Such cringe
  • Most importantly, Simon didn’t turn into a rat
  • I mean, what’s the point of watching the movie if Simon isn’t going to turn into a rat??

3. Alice in Wonderland

Image result for alice in wonderland movie

I’m only going to say one thing: Lewis Caroll is probably rolling in her grave.

Pros

  • I have to give them this: I could totally see Tim Burton’s influence
  • Nice surrealist imagery- the special effects all had a dream-like yet slightly creepy feel to it

Cons

  • SO MANY CONS
  • First of all, why are Alice and the Mad Hatter involved in some kind of disturbing romantic relationship?? Is it even a romantic relationship? NO I AM NOT HERE FOR THIS AT ALL. It deeply concerns me
  • Stop ruining my childhood now I’m imagining Alice and the Mad Hatter getting it on and it makes me want to puke
  • Also, WHY WOULD YOU CHOP OF PEOPLE’S HEADS IN A DISNEY MOVIE? I get that this is Alice in Wonderland, but…. really? This is rated PG?
  • I mean, since when is decapitation “PG”
  • Laughable “epic” battle scene (I put quotation marks around this because the scene was not epic in any way)
  • Alice undergoes no character development whatsoever. She’s like a piece of bland untoasted bread. No, not just UNTOASTED, she’s like frozen bread that was set out on the kitchen counter to defrost, but even when it warms up the texture stays all stiff and dry, plus the bread itself tastes like the contents of your fridge
  • To this day, I’m still quite bamboozled by this movie. Was Alice high the entire time, or… what?
Related image
me @ whoever thought this movie was a good idea

4. Tales of Unfortunate Events aka The Movie That Must Not Be Named

Image result for tale of unfortunate events movie

I’m sorry, what movie again? *innocent smile*

You know, now that I think about it, I want to applaud this movie, because it must take some serious SKILL and EFFORT to so completely annihilate a book.


Anyways, I respect all of these directors for putting in the time to create movies (which I could NEVER EVER do), even if I ended up kind of really really disliking them.

Image result for i hate this gif

Okay, I’m finally done! *deep breath* This post was so incredibly negative. I promise I’m not this much of a downer in real life. (I mean… I hope I’m not, anyways.) 😀

I’m deeply sorry that you had to slog through all this bitterness, and if you somehow did, congratulations!! You deserve a pat on the back. And 1000 cups of boba.

I’m out. ❤

hannapotamus

 

Advertisements

38 thoughts on “Cringeworthy Book-to-Movie Adaptations That Must (In My Humble Opinion) Be Wiped Off Of The Face Of The Earth

  1. OMG I totally agree with your opinions on the first two, they were cringe-inducing. I haven’t started watching the TV show yet, but I’ve heard it’s a lot better than the movie!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I KNOW THEY WERE SO CRINGEWORTHY I’M CRINGING RIGHT NOW THINKING ABOUT IT

      And yes, I’ve heard the Shadowhunters TV show (and the Tales of Unfortunate Events one) is much, much better!! I’ve watched a couple of snippets– mainly just for MALEC haha– and it seems pretty cool. Way cooler than the movie, anyways XD

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hannah, you’re seriously too funny. Like, you’re just hilarious in the way you talk about things. I totally get the way you feel about these movies, even as I haven’t watched most of them. We’ll complain together! 😀 Girl Power! 🤜🏻🤛🏽

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HAHAHA YES LET’S COMPLAIN TOGETHER. Complaining is so fun and relaxing :^))))))

      and awwww thank you! ❤ *sends millions of hearts* I don't think my rant made much sense, tbh, it was just me vomiting up my endless salt in word-form

      (Seriously though, I would highly recommend staying away from these movies… trust me it was the worst mistake of my life)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Jaime Campbell Bower’s cheekbones. 11/10. He’d give Akile Hatun a run for her money. It really bugged me that in PJ2 they tried to die Annabeth’s hair blond, but it ended up just being a bad highlight job mostly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, it bugged me so so much?? Blonde hair isn’t that hard to find in the world!! There’s a lot of actresses with blonde hair!!

      I don’t think I have it in me to finish watching the second movie…. I can’t, I just can’t

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I’ve heard about it!! I also watched the Anne of Green Gables Netflix show which was AMAZING.

      I’ll probably start watching it soon, but I’m currently already juggling a buttload of TV shows/dramas XD

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oooh that’s relieving (and refreshing) to hear!! Oh dear… if it goes anything like the books, though, no one’s going to get a HEA.

        I adored that series as a child, and I’m glad to see a TV show that does it justice. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I didn’t see Mortal Instruments but did watch some of the show… opposite Problem… the casting is ugh to me… Gah! Percy Jackson movies WERE. NOT. GOOD. Even as far as movies go so flaccid! It’s as if they thought oh it’s for kids they’ll eat it up not realizing that duh, most of those kids are young adults now! Alice in Wonderland ought to spend time in the box of shame! Haaha! You gave such a lovely blogging voice, great post, I so agree! Loved… “I’m imagining Alice and the Mad Hatter getting it on” that is so sick, now I am too! 🤢

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahhh thank you so much!! ❤ But it's so true, though… honestly, the Percy Jackson movies could have been soooo much better if the director just stuck to at least the BASIC OUTLINE of the book instead of going off on some weird tangent

      Oh, and don't even get me started on Alice in Wonderland… *cringes* SERIOUSLY what was up with Alice and the Mad Hatter though???!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a really fun post! I haven’t seen *any* of these movies, but I *have* heard terrible things about them all. I just don’t get it– why must you destroy books like this? And combining a bunch of books into a single film can totally be done– but, I just don’t know if it will ever be good. We’ll see what happens with The Dark Tower. That’s a LOT of book to be in one film.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YAYY I’m glad you liked it!! 😀

      I mean, there’s obviously people who love the movies, but I on the other hand just HATED them. And please, if you’re going to change everything about the book, please do it WELL, for heaven’s sake!!!

      Hmm I haven’t heard of The Dark Tower…. hopefully that one for once turns out great :’)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The Dark Tower is a series of 8 fantasy novels written by Stephen King. The film just came out, But, some basic research shows me that this is a canonical sequel to the novel series, so I don’t know if it really counts for your list?

        Regardless, I DNF’d the series after book 1. It just wasn’t for me. O_o

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Personally I haven’t seen any of these movies (I didn’t even know that The Series of Unfortunate Events was a movie! I grew up reading that series! Now at least I know not to watch it haha…) but I know what you mean regarding book to movie adaptations. Sometimes I wonder if I would enjoy the movie if I haven’t read the book, because I wouldn’t have any preconceived notions about how I want the movie to be like. One example is The Martian- the movie got amazing reviews and all my friends who haven’t read the book loved it, but I was disappointed because they edited out one of my favorite subplots in the book and it’s just so…. different. Rant over 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I would highly recommend that you stay as far away from these movies as possible. ((((:

      I know that obviously the book to movie adaption won’t turn out exactly the way readers want it to, but sometimes it’s so *different* that it hardly resembles the original book!!! Especially if your fave character/subplot is completely taken out. But if you’re going to drastically change the plot, at least do it WELL omg.

      and same. rant over :”’)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree! I hate it when they make major changes in the movie adaptation, even though I get it because they need to make things more cinematic to sell well (it’s all about money =/ )

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s